All we need is love?


Relationships … friendships? more? … and the whole scenario that comes to mind is so interesting that I simply have to put it out here for my own analysis as well as for feedback from others …

Once widowed … once divorced – both intrinsically challenging in their own rights … history under the bridge … mostly … but as we all know, it is our life experiences who shape who we truly are.  Six months ago I would have said … no, never, not again.  I don’t need the “M” step to make a relationship work.  If I ever did, it would be for all the right reasons …

IF I EVER DID, IT WOULD BE FOR ALL THE RIGHT REASONS …. and therein, my friends, lies the burning question.  What are the reasons why someone would remarry at ?  Or 50?  Obviously not because we are young and innocent, with our whole lives, children, careers and white picket fences ahead of us.  Those of us who have “been there, done that” for whatever reasons will have different responses from those who have not taken the step, and will have different responses from each other based on our individual journeys.

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR IN A RELATIONSHIP … FRIENDSHIP …. PARTNER?

Someone who I enjoy spending time with and doing things with; that I trust will honor my heart, which I have given freely; that is independent enough to enjoy spending time on their own with their own interests and is comfortable/secure enough for me to do the same; who “has my back” during challenging times I ask for it but is not offended if I choose not to take it.

Someone who is, first and foremost, a best friend and lover ..

It boils down to really being more of a partnership … a coming together of two people who, because of their own life experiences, has a more relaxed view of the future … who already understands and accepts that no-one is perfect.  And is happy to share their life with you.

Do I expect it will last forever?  I don’t know.  My history (experience) tells me .. not really. It hasn’t yet.  Would I like to find someone to happily spend the rest of my life with? Sure … I would LIKE to … I don’t HAVE to.

Am I looking for a sugar daddy to take care of me?  Absolutely not.

I am in a relationship … friendship … (because friendship rather than relationship is what we prefer to call it) that over the last 3+ years has proven to be comfortable in spite of the fact that both of us are a) afraid of committing; b) not interested in committing; c) want to spend our time together enjoying each other for the long run; d) want the “freedom” to move on … e) none of the above … f) all of the above …  I don’t know if we are more afraid of it not working … or of it working …

And it is still new, virgin territory for me.

So, my single Boomer friends … what is your experience?  How do you approach relationships/friendships?  What are your expectations, hopes, dreams?

I want to know …. namaste (I honor you …..)

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4 thoughts on “All we need is love?

  1. I have spent much time thinking about this. My life after divorce was spent raising my girls and building my book of business (corporate sales) so I didn’t have time to date. Now I am retired and alone, having done a GREAT job of turning out two successful and independent young women. I have friends so I am never without someone to go out with. Yet, I know that I would like to marry again. I want the permanence of a life partner. I envy my friends who are traveling with their husbands in retirement. I hate dating. I want someone to wake up next to every morning. I want partner who is my best friend and lover. A good pre-nup takes care of all the mixing of assets. Call me old fashioned, but the living together is not for me…just as it was not for me in my 20s.

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    1. Old Gal – your comment got into my spam box for some reason! I so agree with what you say – permanence, hating dating, someone to wake up with, best friend and lover .. and we are doing a pre-nup – though it may be a post-nup – and more because his assets for his (adult) children need protecting – I have no assets to speak of and I want him assured that I am not after his. I would have it no other way than for him to look out for his kids first. He is very financially responsible and I have incurred some debt as a result of 3 years of on again off again employment so I also want it clear that both assets and debts before our marriage date belong solely to the “owner” … and I have come to believe strongly in not co-mingling funds.

      The next 2 weeks will be very telling! Thanks for your insight .. I always enjoy it!

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  2. Pingback: Honoring the Coming of Love | Tasithoughts's Weblog

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