So our move into our little apartment last Sunday was, though a long day, pretty painless for my son and me. All the pre-arranging went off well. It helped that we were not in a situation where we had to be completely out of somewhere by a deadline.
And husband, though on one hand, wanted to participate in the move as a show of support, as I anticipated found it awkward – so he busied himself with work, a nap and going to the bar. Son and I (with the wonderful assistance of my nephew) managed to get done what was necessary. Just one snarky bit was hubby telling my son that since all his stuff was out, he wanted my son’s key back as he didn’t need it any longer. In my mind I wondered when he might want mine back.
This last week was a crazy work at week on the heels of moving. After the move on Sunday, Monday was spent at a golf course sponsoring a hole for a charity golf tournament hosted by a meeting professionals’ organization I belong to. 7 am at the hotel to pick up jello shots – at the course by 8:15, set up and ready to go by 9 – and shot-gun tee off at 9:30. 18 foresome later, wine and hors d’oeuvres. Met hubby for a drink (and to donate the left-over jello shots to our neighborhood bar for them to sell for their fund-raising efforts for an organization that trains companion/service dogs for veterans) – and then headed home to do a little grocery shopping and stop for the night. Quick dinner of salami sandwiches and potato salad.
Tuesday was in the office catching up from being out Monday – and an annual gala dinner for the same meeting planner association – all day at work, then dinner – and home about 9:30 pm. Exhausted.
Wednesday was an education day and trade show (I exhibited) all day from 7:30am to 6 pm – texted hubby to arrange picking up a TV for us to use – we met up for a quick cocktail and chat, then I headed home to make dinner for son – pork chops and angel hair pasta!
Yesterday our cable tv and internet was finally hooked up – while waiting for the tech to come I made good use of the time by doing some additional grocery shopping and bringing a few more boxes over. Son and I made chili verdi and Spanish rice for dinner.
I hate to see my desk this morning and I know I have at least a dozen emails requiring action this morning for clients!
The first 3-4 nights son spent (after our daily adventures and dinner) with his friends who have been harboring him the last 6 months or so. But the last few it appears he has been relaxing a little, hanging around in the evenings helping with getting settled.
I asked him if his anxiety levels from not being around hubby now were down at all the other day – it happened to be his first post-divorce wedding anniversary day and he was not doing well emotionally. He responded by saying he felt he is just existing right now.
So – our gentle ongoing conversation will be only he can make the changes in his life to move forward. I will support him in what he decides to do – but he must make the decisions. Yesterday he seemed a little more engaged – and today he starts his 4-day run of working.
It kills me to see his sadness and emptiness on those days it consumes him. But I am grateful we are close enough that he lets those feelings show and sometimes will even talk about them.
And back to hubby – I have been pleasantly (though guardedly) surprised by his outward acceptance of this necessary separation. He has joined a bowling meet-up group so hopefully he will socialize and participate. Maybe even make friends! We make a little time to spend together most days though he knows I will not be staying there. Tonight because son is working I will go to his house for dinner – then come home.
Guardedly – I still wait for him to respond negatively. If it goes smoothly for too long, I get worried – as is my life story. And I am honestly enjoying the peace and quiet of our little sanctuary – where I will insist on leaving the chaos at the door.
Here’s to Friday … with love ….
Namaste – I honor you all who are living life day to day and finding new paths.