Not that it ever has been, but now I’m starting to beat myself up. A lot. My regain is now completely out of control to the point that I am starting to look at possible revision procedures.
I started in 2005 at 225 lbs, lowest weight 133, happy weight 145, current weight 190.
And the intelligent side of me says WTF?
And I look at myself in the proverbial mirror and ask myself:
- What have I done seriously and consistently to “fix” the issues of:
- Participating 100% in my carb addiction
- Knowing that regular alcohol consumption adds to the regain
- No regular exercise program
- Not taking my vitamins
- Not planning and participating in what I know is an appropriate eating plan
- Letting my stress dictate my eating
- Not participating actively in a WLS support system
- What exactly am I going to do about it? What is my plan?
Even if I was serious (and I am half way because I am doubting my ability to reverse the damage), at a 35.9 BMI and no real co-morbidities I wouldn’t even qualify for a WLS under Kaiser’s guidelines.
Today is the day. The proverbial first day of the rest of my life. I’ve hit my rock bottom and am thoroughly disgusted with myself and into self-loathing.
So here is my plan:
- 1,100 Calories a day ~ Bite it, write it. Every single bite.
- Stop with the alcohol already.
- Get my fat ass to the gym realistically ….. REALISTICALLY every other day for an hour. I have no excuse, I have a free gym membership through my Kaiser Medicare coverage. The gym is 1.5 miles away.
- Get my head into support groups – again free through our local Kaiser bariatric center.
- Get back on my vitamins …
If I can’t be accountable to myself, I can’t be accountable to anyone else. Are you out there struggling with WLS regain?
You don’t have to struggle alone – there are resources, you jut have to look for them! So my next post will be at day’s end recapping my day and progress.
Namaste, my struggling friends ….