Itty Bitty’s Moving

Hello my friends, I am in the process of transfering my blog to my new website – please check out the new website, and register there to continue following me while I’m in this strange time of transition!

With any luck within a week everything here will be there …

Thank you!

The Itty Bitty Boomer

Finding Love & Trust …..

Five years ago today I met the man who would convince me that it is possible to trust again and to love unconditionally again … thank you, my friend, lover and now (for one year and one month) my husband!
And though through the first three and a half years we each struggled with our own insecurities and fears, we finally realized that we, could, indeed, surrender and simply love each other and enjoy every day we have with each other.
As I was pondering the implications of that now distant January 23, 2008 evening when we (after meeting on and spending much of a month “winking” and exchanging bits, then emails, then phone calls) first decided to talk face to face, only one thing now comes to my mind …..  and it is so true:
I Carry Your Heart ……
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done …by only me is your doing, my darling)
 i fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
 i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)   – e. e. cummings ~
My wish is that everyone has or finds this love …
Namaste – I honor you … and love …
Itty Bitty

Sometimes we look so far to find happiness ..

Sometimes we look so far to find happiness when we don’t even realize that happiness is in our hearts, waiting patiently to be released. ~ Anonymous

A  “Boomer” friend of mine has been searching for happiness for as long as I’ve known him (over 3 years) – maybe forever … he went through a bitter divorce some years ago. Then he found new love (in his tentative way) a few years later and two years into their relationship, she was diagnosed with stage 4 leukemia and pass away a few months later. When I met him, he was just reaching out from the loss of his sweetheart.  His relationship with his kids was rocky at best.  He was seeking “happiness” through a variety of destructive behaviors.  But there was a sadness and a sweetness about him that I could neither ignore nor resist.

Over the last few years I have watched him work through some very difficult times.  The common thread in his struggle has been searching for that which will make him happy – fulfill him.  He has a career that will shortly be providing him a reasonable retirement; has been financially responsible in providing for his & his children’s future; has a profitable home-based consulting business; owns a comfortable home – a comfortable life and future by anyone’s standards.  And yet he has spent a lifetime of searching for happiness … to be released from his emptiness.  I have seen a successful man who lacks social self confidence and is afraid of being vulnerable – as if allowing himself to “be happy” or to “surrender to love” will guarantee being hurt and abandoned again.  He has had no idea what a sweet and loving person he is, or what is “enough” … our friendship has been held at bay as “just friends” because if we are “just friends”, he could walk away if it got uncomfortable for him.

Lately he has been evolving daily in wonderful, positive ways – finally realizing that he has all the “things” he needs to be comfortable. He is becoming more comfortable and happy with himself, trusting his intuitions.  He is realizing he has the love of someone who accepts him for who he is with all his imperfections who is not going to hurt him.  He is opening up to the vulnerability of surrendering to love – to trusting someone else to care for his heart .. and that the comfort and contentedness and happiness he seeks is actually right under his nose and in his heart – just waiting patiently to be released.

Why do we so often search for something we feel is missing in our lives when in reality it is within us already?  If that which we seek we cannot find within, we will not find it without.  Looking inward is hard work – searching our selves for the answers we seek is work – but so much more rewarding than the endless seeking “out there” where no answers lie.  At any age.

I hope you find your happiness in your heart ….

Namaste …