Hello my friends, I am in the process of transfering my wordpress.com blog to my new website www.ittybittyboomer.com – please check out the new website, and register there to continue following me while I’m in this strange time of transition!
With any luck within a week everything here will be there …
The Itty Bitty Boomer
2011 was perhaps the most unusual year I can recall in the last five – a culmination of closing doors and opening doors right up till the very last-minute. I’m glad it’s over, and 2012 holds promise of a better, growing, stronger year.
I read a blog this morning, Remarkable Wrinkles – you can click on it in “Other Bloggers I Love” … about that whole “New Year’s Resolution” subject. apparently I’m not the only one out there who doesn’t do well with resolutions. Good to know! Her blog was about .. ahem … another friend’s blog she’d read suggesting not resolutions but WORDS. Pick a word … any word that means something to you and make it a … not so much a resolution, but kind of a goal … something to strive for or work on … in our lives. Made perfect sense to me!
One of the biggest things I learned over this last year of unending speed bumps and change is that I really do have a CHOICE in how my life goes. I made a lot of progress in cleaning up messes and making changes that were necessary, but I can take my little ol’ self down paths in directions that I CHOOSE.
CHOICES I can manifest ….
To take care of myself first … I forget this too easily. Before I can take care of anyone else, I need to take care of me. I also don’t need to take care of EVERYONE else, now do I? This includes physically, emotionally, spiritually, as well as financially.
- Physically – as a 6-year post-op gastric bypass patient, I have, after woefully not doing as I should for probably 3 years now, have started taking my vitamin and protein supplements religiously … every day. I am working on getting at least half an hour of exercise (even walking) in every day. I am fighting the carb monster … which is my acknowledged complete and utter addiction. I am drinking more water.
- Emotionally – why is it that we always “look after” others before we look out for ourselves? Or is it just us nurturers? I HAVE allowed myself to surrender to loving someone – though I will not ever surrender my identity to anyone again – I am trusting someone with my heart. I am chosing to be differently in this relationship that I have in past commitments. I am making the CHOICE to be more open and forthcoming. This is difficult for me because of fences and guards that are decades old. I’m working on them, though. It’s the right thing to do – not just for me, but for him.
I trusted enough to get married on December 15, 2011. He is my CHOICE!
- Spiritually – This is an area where I am needing to center myself and focus my energy. 2011 was filled with chaos (good and bad) and though things are slowly coming together, I need to refine my balance and take the time each day I need to quiet my mind, express my gratitude and send out my positive thoughts for the day. Every morning and every evening. To thank the Gods and Goddesses for helping me find the right path.
- Financially – Huge one. As I am finalizing a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy (not a thing I am proud of, but it became necessary given my particular situation of long-term unemployment and limited access to financial resources) I am gifted with an opportunity to begin again. I have CHOICE on how I live my financial life from this point forward in rebuilding my financial integrity.
CHOICES – my word for this day. It feels good and strong and empowering. I’ll take it!
What is your word for the day? Make it mean something to you.
Sometimes we look so far to find happiness when we don’t even realize that happiness is in our hearts, waiting patiently to be released. ~ Anonymous
A “Boomer” friend of mine has been searching for happiness for as long as I’ve known him (over 3 years) – maybe forever … he went through a bitter divorce some years ago. Then he found new love (in his tentative way) a few years later and two years into their relationship, she was diagnosed with stage 4 leukemia and pass away a few months later. When I met him, he was just reaching out from the loss of his sweetheart. His relationship with his kids was rocky at best. He was seeking “happiness” through a variety of destructive behaviors. But there was a sadness and a sweetness about him that I could neither ignore nor resist.
Over the last few years I have watched him work through some very difficult times. The common thread in his struggle has been searching for that which will make him happy – fulfill him. He has a career that will shortly be providing him a reasonable retirement; has been financially responsible in providing for his & his children’s future; has a profitable home-based consulting business; owns a comfortable home – a comfortable life and future by anyone’s standards. And yet he has spent a lifetime of searching for happiness … to be released from his emptiness. I have seen a successful man who lacks social self confidence and is afraid of being vulnerable – as if allowing himself to “be happy” or to “surrender to love” will guarantee being hurt and abandoned again. He has had no idea what a sweet and loving person he is, or what is “enough” … our friendship has been held at bay as “just friends” because if we are “just friends”, he could walk away if it got uncomfortable for him.
Lately he has been evolving daily in wonderful, positive ways – finally realizing that he has all the “things” he needs to be comfortable. He is becoming more comfortable and happy with himself, trusting his intuitions. He is realizing he has the love of someone who accepts him for who he is with all his imperfections who is not going to hurt him. He is opening up to the vulnerability of surrendering to love – to trusting someone else to care for his heart .. and that the comfort and contentedness and happiness he seeks is actually right under his nose and in his heart – just waiting patiently to be released.
Why do we so often search for something we feel is missing in our lives when in reality it is within us already? If that which we seek we cannot find within, we will not find it without. Looking inward is hard work – searching our selves for the answers we seek is work – but so much more rewarding than the endless seeking “out there” where no answers lie. At any age.
I hope you find your happiness in your heart ….